Know What Looks Really Stupid?

Excuse me while I take this call from my mommy.  (photo from productusp.com)

So we were eating dinner at Chili’s the other night (suckass service; tasty fajitas), and I noticed a young couple sitting at a nearby table. The bloodless blonde girl pushed her food around while across from her, the mobster-in-training with enough hair slick to lube all the cars in the parking lot stared mostly over her left bony shoulder. Every now and then he tersely commented to her, and she played with her fragile locks a lot. Probably a first/last date. Painful to watch. But what was even worse: the guy wore a honking cell phone headset. Like he had business so freaking important that he couldn’t even afford the time to pull the phone out of his pocket and flip it open or push its talk button. Yeah. I’m sure he absolutely had places to go, peeps to see, drugs to buy. 

Peeeeeeee-pul. Unless you are taking orders at a fast food window or making irate customers even madder with your broken English and undecipherable accent in a call center, do not fucking wear a headset. You’ll look like a short-bus rider. I’ll lay you fifty-to-one that guy at Chili’s used to eat boogers and carry a brief case to middle school.

You know what else looks stupid? Reverend Harold Camping and his crazyassed rapture followers right about now. His crew spent 100 million dollars on billboards, pamphlets and t-shirts that are all now as worthless and embarrassing as those Sarah! bumper-stickers. It’s pretty lame for someone in a position of power to lie to vulnerable, malleable people who have psychological issues that predispose them to blind following. I know that in times of severe social stress, the general population can be convinced to trot behind just about anything, and there are skillions of historical examples of mass dumbassness to back that up. But the architects of religious fanaticism should be drawn and quartered. Or at the very least halved.

Also currently stupid looking? Pants on the ground , PajamaJeans ®, people doing idiotic “planking” stunts  (more on these coming soon!). And Charlie Sheen. Yeah, pretty much until the end of the world on that last one.