WHO @#! CARES!?!

Robert Pattison right after he saw the pictures of Kristen Stewart snogging their director. Or me after looking at the current news.

Why in the name of all things holy is a TOP news item entitled, “Kanye and Kim Expecting a Baby”?! Why is this news? Two half-wits fucked. Big damned deal. What is wrong with our society that we have begun celebrating and supporting talentless, brainless thugs and sycophants? Why are any of the Kardashians/Jenners gracing the covers of magazines and earning mention on the nightly news? And who the fuck cares that “Hef” is marrying a bimbo 60 years younger than he is? It’s a freaking miracle that the girl has lived 26 years because most babies whose brains stop forming at the stem don’t endure.

What’s really gross is that both stories serve only to remind us that Kanye/Kim and Hef/CurrentTwat have sex. Gahhhhhh. Just the suggestion of either Kardashian or Kanye in the throes of passion (gaccckkkkkk) or of an 86-year-old penis (mouth-vomit) are enough to gag a maggot. A friend of mine told me yesterday about working with a mentally challenged youth who would eat the contents of his diaper and then puke it back up. Honestly, Hef’s dick is more disgusting.

So why does anyone give a shit about these pseudo-celebrities? I think I have the answer. Our media is not driven by what’s credible or accurate or of quality. As it’s always been, what steers the great capitalist herd of our current society is how much money a television show or a magazine or a movie or an album makes. The difference is that advertisers bow to whatever group drops the most cash, and unfortunately for all intelligent life, the all-important demographic of 18-34-year-olds are mostly dumbasses. Education, critical thinking, and exposure to the ideas of great minds are becoming less and less encouraged. Kim Kardashian on a magazine cover sells because the folks buying have been told that she is special and glittery and worthy of admiration; and instead of judging her merits for themselves, the cattle-class follow along in a big, fucking, stupid pack, dropping shitbombs of Benjamins to remind us they were here. It’s a vicious cycle. 

The media says, “This book is fabulous!” Idiots believe and buy. The book becomes a best-seller. So it must have been fabulous. Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn is a perfect example. The book was touted as the amazing novel of the summer, it sold a bazillion copies, and Reese Witherspoon snapped up the movie rights. The problem is that it sucks. It has plot holes the size of my ass after the holidays, and to anyone with an I.Q. over 90, the central “twist” was as surprising as the outcome of the last presidential election. Why is this book being heralded? Because word-of-mouth and celebrity endorsement mean everything to people who haven’t used a brain cell in their entire lives.

50 Shades of Grey is another example. Jesus. I read the first couple of chapters, and I wanted to give myself a home lobotomy with a blunt knife and no anesthesia. The writing is horrid, but it’s a #1 New York Times Bestseller, so people are turning over the cash faster than a freshly released convict at a whore-shop. Has no one heard of “The Emperor’s New Clothes”? We are being led by swindlers, people. Wake the fuck up! Quit fueling this insane cycle! Think for yourselves. If you don’t, you will have only yourselves to blame when you are led straight off a cliff at the bottom of which you won’t even find your dignity.