If you Cannot Speak Correctly, Shut the Fuck Up.

And then the crowd rushed forward and cut his balls off because he said, "You've been a real good audience." In my dreams.

And, now. A moment of bitching about the state of the English language in 21^st Century America.

I’m so tired of the phrase 24/7, and its ugly stepsister, 24/7/365. I work tirelessly 8/5 to teach my students to avoid overused words and phrases (cliché’s) like the plague. And, Lord knows, I try my darnedest to get them to avoid using just the plain wrong word or phrase. A student of mine once wrote, “…is it self-exclamatory?” WTF is that?! 

One of my former bosses used to say malapropisms like, “It’s coming down the pipe,” and “We really have to treat these students with white gloves.” Holy shit. Are the students DUSTY? How many people even know that the phrase is “treat ___ with kid gloves” because KID is leather made from baby animals? So it’s softer, and therefore will create a gentler handling? Goddddd. (And kiss my ass, PETA. I don’t wear fucking fur.) If I see one more freaking lower case personal pronoun I, someone is going to lose a nut. I mean it. At the very least, I think capital punishment is in order.

What is going to happen to our future generations? People don’t read anymore, except crap like tabloids, which have the grammatical finesse of a toddler from NOT America. If people don’t read, then they write dumbshit things like “should of” instead of “should’ve” because that’s how it sounds. 

And, get this. A COLLEAGUE of mine stopped me in the hall one evening to tell me that while I was visiting the potty (because, YES, goddammit, teachers have to PEE sometimes), a student had been searching for me. And I quote, “You must have just went out because she had went to your room looking for you.” Thank goodness I had just peed, or I would have sprinkled during the mini-fucking stroke I had. I’m thinking this whole idea in the news lately about educators being allowed to carry firearms sounds better and better every second.