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| Obviously, the idiot on the far right wasn't even paying attention to the performance, and the asshat next to her has a painful hemorrhoid that makes him a dick. |
So
I was in Wal Mart today—which anyone who knows me will hardly believe because I
spend such a small percentage of my time in Wal Mart (i.e., 99.3%)—and this
husband and wife were waiting at the photo developing counter while I staggered
up to return a wrong-size fitted sheet in the adjacent customer-service area. First,
the wife scanned me from head to toe with a look on her face that clearly
indicated she had recently soiled herself and was just now getting a whiff.
Then she elbowed her husband and, still sneering my way, said something under
her probably ass-scented breath that made him turn and look at me. And he was a real looker too. Lush,
salt-and-pepper hair. All three of them. Tall and dark. In an ethnic Hobbit
sort of way. She’s a very lucky bitc…woman.
Fortunately
for him, he noticed that I noticed the two of them in their judgment, so he
rapidly turned crimson and stopped in mid-comment. Both of them appeared
momentarily flustered and then turned their backs, presumably to talk with the
photo employee who wasn’t there yet. I was so shocked that I’d just been dissed
by these two fellow Wal Marters that I laughed heartily and tsked in their
general direction. Then I loudly recounted the incident to my husband and then to
my daughter so that anyone in the vicinity of my voice (i.e., in Indiana) could
experience vicariously the judgment to which I’d just been subjected.
And the whole sordid event got me thinking. What judgmental assholes! First of all, who even gets photos developed anymore? Haven't you fuckers heard of digital cameras? Join us in the 21st century, dick-suckers!
Second, who the fuck in Wal Mart has any business judging anyone else in the entire world? Wal Mart shoppers are poor and have visible ass-cracks. I should know because I have 27 dollars in the bank, and my jeans tend to inch down in the back when I ride on those motorized carts that I have to use since my unfortunate fall in a big box store that shall remain nameless.
Third,
I have seen enough judgmental bullshit in connection with my mentally ill
daughter whose medications have caused her to gain over 100 pounds in the past
year to last until we work our way through the goddamned Mayan calendar again.
Let me tell you, one of the most awesome things a person can ever do is to snigger condescendingly and
sling personal insults at my challenged child. That’s because I have a fucking
claw hammer I haven’t really broken in quite yet.
But
you know, I just hate judgmental assholes because they don’t realize the
obvious: they are fucking smears of wormy dogshit on a bathroom floor in a
really scuzzy bar in some sleazy part of a drug-infested and lawless Mexican
town. Judgmental assholes think that physical attractiveness or athletic
prowess or a fat wallet and North Face ® fleece make them something. The truth is that NO ONE is anything. We are all just
flawed, struggling pieces of a big puzzle trying to get back together. All of
the pieces are necessary to complete the picture, and no piece is any more
important than any other. Even you corner pieces, so shut the fuck up. As for
you, you sorry-assed, sack-nuzzling, shit-licking mother fuckers at the Wal
Mart photo developing stand, keep your fucking worthless judgment to
yourselves.
Brooke wears North Face..
ReplyDeleteI don't own any North Face, anus port.
ReplyDeleteYou need to use those motorized carts to your advantage. Who's to say that cart doesn't have a mind of its own and would run into the jerks of Wal-Mart. Hehehehe.
ReplyDeleteOkay, Bloggurl!
ReplyDeleteOf course you're right. As always. You throw truth in our faces and help us laugh about it. That's a rare ability you share with very few people in the world (the names of Neil Simon, George Carlin, Arlo Guthrie, Judd Apatow, and Ellen Degeneris leap to mind). It's truly a gift.
Condescension and arrogance in any form are inexcusable in our world (e.g., the word "Trump" ~ in any context except the game of Bridge, where the attitude is at least justified by its real power). Certainly in any realm one can find his or her "fellows" whose lives are "lower" on some totem pole or other, whether the measure is intellectual, artistic, financial, or social; however, if you look "down," you must also look "up," and find an equal or greater number of people above your level of self-assessment (sorry, Trump, even YOU must do this!).
Because the TRUTH is, as you say, Bloggurl, we're all pieces of the puzzle we call life, every one of us (although I happen to think corner pieces are the MOST valuable, and a good place to begin "solving" that puzzle, finding the total picture and so on).
And to publicly display such disdain (as your WalMart losers so ostentatiously did) is the worst sort of sin.
The problem is we learn this behavior from such an early age that it's difficult to eradicate the propensity in later years, as we come to consciousness. From our parents we learn about racial, religious, and social "differences" that separate US from THEM; then in school that sense of hierarchy is solidified with "grades" and teachers' praises and students' cliques. It's no wonder that by the time we reach "adulthood" (a fancy name for "big kids") we are powerless to resist the temptation. (Even if we "know better," we still slide down this "slippery slope"!)
"Easy for me to say," certainly. Because I have the same reaction when I'm disdained and disregarded at my tennis club, where my 50 years playing the game is overshadowed by my age and a recent 5 year hiatus from playing, and where I'm consistently faced by a superior "attitude" from fellow players (mostly female, from affluent local communities, the wives of doctors and lawyers) who dismiss me as "out of my league" in our practices.
However, Bloggurl, perhaps if we're both able to "consider the source" in this sort of dismissal (in this case "trailer trash" judgment), then maybe the offensive behavior can be ignored.
Hess