Okay. Maybe the World IS Coming to an End.

What the fuck is going on!? First Dick Cheney gets a new heart, which seems a little wrong since there are people much younger who are waiting and waiting and waiting for some innocent person to die so that they can have a new ticker. I know he was out of options, but couldn’t he have just shot another hunting buddy? Or used a deer heart? I don’t know. I am all for saving lives, but what is the prognosis here? The government just spent a shitload of money putting a living organ inside a dying man. But this isn’t the most outrageous bullshit of the week.

Here it is. Trayvon Martin. If you don’t know who Trayvon is, you are one braindead mother fucker. Or a Kardashian, which is, admittedly, kind of redundant. Trayvon was walking home at night from a convenience store last month when a neighborhood watch VOLUNTEER, George Zimmerman, shot him dead. For what?! WHY did this son of a bitch even have a goddamned gun? And if he thought that something was amiss, he should have called the real law instead of getting his Barney Fife on. Why the hell did he even get out of his car!?

I’ve read that he is extremely distraught over the killing (as he ought to damned well be) and that he is in hiding because some dumb fucking nutjob New Black Panter Party has put a $10,000 bounty on Zimmerman’s head. That’s as whacked as the stupid idiot’s decision that started this nightmare. What the fucking good is it going to do to KILL Zimmerman, you dogshit-filled Twinkies? I get that people are upset that he hasn’t been arrested, and the lack of charges baffles me. How is it possible that there might be a law that shields this neighborhood watch dude from prosecution for KILLING some kid?

And then get this: Some creepy fame-seeker “flour-bombed” Kim “Dumber than the Contents of my Lint Trap” Kardashian the other day, and the flour child…wait for it… was arrested. WHAT THE?!? Besides the fact that YAY, that Kardashian-waste-of-time-and-energy got floured, and it was FUNNY, why is THAT assault worthy of charges while Trayvon Martin is fucking DEAD for buying some damned candy, and Zimmerman gets nothing?!  What the fuck is going on here? Somebody better come up with some creative way to charge this man before the riots start. No good ever comes from reactionary riots, but that never stopped the mob mentality from infecting the clueless hordes before.

And on a sickeningly serious side note: 20^th Century Fox is about to release an unfortunately titled movie, Neighborhood Watch, which—although it is a sci-fi comedy— has a cringe-worthy clip playing in theatres right now. Jonah Hill points his finger gun-styled out of the security vehicle’s window at some young folks walking the neighborhood streets at night. And then he pulls his fake trigger. OH, boy. I sure hope there is an intelligent soul who can snip that clip before anyone else notices the hideous timing and incredibly unfunny irony.