Dear
Republicans:
While you were yachting and collecting trophy wives (although I have to say that every time I see Joe Biden and his wife, I think I’m watching a Cialis commercial), it became NOT the 1770’s. And women and black people? They got the right to vote. Shocking!
While you were yachting and collecting trophy wives (although I have to say that every time I see Joe Biden and his wife, I think I’m watching a Cialis commercial), it became NOT the 1770’s. And women and black people? They got the right to vote. Shocking!
We
all know that when Thomas Jefferson wrote in The Declaration, “We hold these truths to be sacred and undeniable
(later changed to “self-evident”), that all men are created equal…” that he and
his peers meant only MEN and specifically only WHITE MEN and even more
specifically only RICH WHITE MEN, i.e., landowners. We also know that The Declaration was a bold statement
that set in motion the future fights of women and other minorities, and that we
cannot fairly view Jefferson’s choices and words through a 21st
century filter. The younger generation today keeps trying to run all of
American history from our leaders to our laws to our books, movies and
television shows through their ever-evolving world view, and not only does it
fail miserably, it pisses me off. Stop it already. We need to look at 2012 with
a 21st century lens. And that includes YOU, you dumb-ass
Republicans.
In
case you are unaware, dear Republicans—DUH—people can love God, yet not be
Bible-thumpers. Black Americans are not out hoeing the back 40 of your cotton
or serving up your mint-juleps. And women do not want your palsied, cold,
liver-spotted fingers all up in their private parts. (Special note to Joe
Biden: Invest in some Porcelana ® and some hand warmers.) We can believe in the
sanctity of marriage—although at this point, it’s not like the heterosexuals
have done such a bang-up job of promoting its sanctity—without the pompous
indignation aimed at couples who don’t fit your portrait of “normal.” For God’s
sake, interracial marriage was illegal in the US until 1967, and it’s been
deemed immoral for centuries in many cultures. How preposterous! At least in
the US, we’ve gotten over that stupidity.
But here we are in 2012, and the Republican party has the nerve to put this guy on the ballot. I’m not saying that Mitt isn’t a nice man, although I’m really disturbed that he’s named after fucking sports equipment. I’m sure that even some Democrats might agree that as a person, Mitt’s all right. (Okay. Maybe I’m reaching.) But the Republican Party could only be more out of touch with mainstream America if they were fricking Taliban.
But here we are in 2012, and the Republican party has the nerve to put this guy on the ballot. I’m not saying that Mitt isn’t a nice man, although I’m really disturbed that he’s named after fucking sports equipment. I’m sure that even some Democrats might agree that as a person, Mitt’s all right. (Okay. Maybe I’m reaching.) But the Republican Party could only be more out of touch with mainstream America if they were fricking Taliban.
And
now they are all scratching their hoary heads and wondering how the hell they
lost the election. Helllllooooooo?? Idiots?? STOP trying to tell women what
they can and can’t do with their wombs. STOP trying to tell gay people that
their love doesn’t equal yours. (And don’t try to tell me that there aren’t gay
people amongst your ranks!) STOP trying to tell minorities that they are less
important than rich, white people. And, for the love of Jesus, STOP letting
Trump speak. At all.
It’s true that fiscal conservatism is needed in our country more than ever. That means that spending cuts are inevitable. But it doesn’t have to be only programs designed to help the poor that get cut, you morons! Our government could STOP spending $100 for a fucking stapler you can get at Wal Mart for $1.99, for example.
The
problem is that people are rabidly emotional about money. But if we trim social
programs RESPONSIBLY—and that means by reducing the salaries of government
employees who push around papers and bog down the system AND by streamlining
the processes of identifying deserving recipients of government aid—we can keep
lending a hand to the people who TRULY need it, and at the same time, lop off
some of our incredible debt. STOP calling Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security
and Welfare “entitlement programs.” American workers have toiled long and hard
to SAVE money out of their paychecks with the expectation that it will be there
when they retire. It’s not like anyone could opt OUT of having SS removed from
their pay. We EARNED it. And we expect the government to GIVE IT BACK, dammit.
And
as for Welfare and Food Stamps, yes, yes; it’s true that there are sycophants
in our country whose total existence consists of sitting on a dilapidated
porch, drinking all day from a brown-paper-bag-coated bottle OR having lots of
babies without a thought in the world about how to feed them. Newsflash! All of
those folks are not minorities! And not ALL folks have been raised with the
same values as Republicans. And SOME folks have mental illness. It’s important
to weed out people who are defrauding the system, but we can’t just abandon
everyone, you nutbags.
As
soon as the two aloof, lily-white representatives of Republican-ness that the
Party paraded as the “ticket” hit the trail, there was no doubt that they were
going down. Hey, Republicans, here’s a novel idea: Why don’t you try a WOMAN
candidate? Or a MINORITY? Hell, a fucking deaf-mute would be a better option at
this point. Get your heads out of your gold-plated asses and pay attention.
Cultural values have changed. And God still loves all of us anyway. If you have
the hope of ever, ever putting a Republican back in top office, it’s time you
recognize those of us who aren’t rich, white and male.
