Boston Bombers REDUX.

Okay. One of the most incredible take-downs in the history of law enforcement happened last week in Boston after a swarm of good-guys shot and/or captured the two asswipes who killed and maimed Americans with pressure-cooker bombs at the Boston Marathon finish line. After the bombings, disembodied voices on NPR droned on and on about how this would be a “lengthy investigation” that would take “years” to solve. Well-heh-heh-hellllll, maybe for NOT Boston. As much as I rue the overuse of cell phones, I hereby acquiesce temporarily so that I can pay tribute to their part in throwing a super-nova spotlight on the Tsarnaev brothers. 

Dear Terrorist Asslickers, 

As long as we exist, you will not escape our ever-vigilant surveillance. We see you. We record you. And suddenly, everybody knows your name. Especially in Boston, you fucking morons. Didn’t you watch Cheers? Oh. Wait. Nevermind. You aren’t baseball-, hotdogs-, apple pie- and Chevrolet-lovers, now, are you?? No, no. You are turdlets; steaming, putrid, and mustardy-yellow. And you are going DOWN.   

Boston Strong, bitches.

Love, cellphones

NOW. Can we STOP with all the pictures of the murderers? Every freaking time I turn on the news or open a news site on my computer, I’m assaulted by the faces of Tsarnaev 1 & 2. Give it a fucking rest. 

How about plastering up the face of the 26-year-old MIT cop, Sean Collier, who phoned in a disturbance and set up the downfall of the Brothers Grim? His face is one we shouldn’t forget. Likewise, we need to focus on Martin Richard, Krystle Campbell and Lu Lingzi, who were killed; and the scores of bombing victims who were seriously injured. We’ve gotten so negative in America. We're so fascinated with evil. And all we do is carp, carp, carp. There is a never-ending stream of negative voices filling the airwaves with so much shit, it’s no wonder the ozone is thinning. 

And another thing with which I’ve got a grain-fed beef: What happened to patriotism in America? It takes a terroristic wake-up call for Americans to stand together and declare their love for our country. What is wrong with you people? Yes, yes, our country isn’t perfect, for God’s sake. But America is the best place on earth. If you disagree, then go somewhere else. No one is stopping you, and plenty of people are waiting in line and jumping fences to take your fucking place. 

Don’t forget it.

Boston Bombers are ASSHOLES.

What. The. 

Once again, we are reminded of the incredible genius lurking in the brains of some animals in our world. Doesn’t it take super smarts to work out an equation such as this? 

anger + hatred = lemme kill and maim somebody 

Brilliant! Hate your local abortion clinic? Bomb the place because killing the folks who work there MAKES. PERFECT. SENSE. I must kill people who kill! Dumb asses.

Despise Western culture and capitalism? Bomb federal buildings or crowded market places because blowing people’s bodies apart is the surest way to bring an end to an economy in which people other than the evil dictator have an opportunity to get rich. And nothing will stop infidel women from wearing shorts like a good mass murder. Morons.

Now, let’s say that the Boston bombing had domestic foundations—such as a distaste for the US government’s income tax requirement, as some pundits have posited. Well, then. There is obviously no better method for protesting all things American than by blasting an 8-year-old to bits and shearing off his 6-year-old sister’s leg. Idiots! 3 people were killed and more than 180 injured. For WHAT? There is no such thing as a sane reason.

No matter who is behind the heinous attack on innocent by-standers at the Boston Marathon, I’m sure we can all come together in our desire to see the bastard(s) located and put away. Somewhere dark and dank and shit-filled. For life. With endless loops of Lee Greenwood’s I’m Proud to be an American playing for eternity. Whoever you are, you spineless, fucking coward, you don’t deserve a second of freedom on American soil—or anywhere on earth.